At this moment, I am half watching Bravo’s “Work of Art” reality show competition, and half typing out my thoughts. It is pretty interesting to me, as the artists make a piece of art in a day and a half, how well I understand the artists’ thought processes. Ever since I’ve had memory, its been easy to illustrate and draw quite realistically and when feeling brave, in a more impressionistic or even modern way. My journey as an artist has been interesting. Eventually, I went to school to hone myself as a fine artist, then became, for practicality’s sake, a commercial designer. Having gone back to school for clothing construction, it feels like its yet another medium I can express myself with. A few days ago, a friend commented I should try to compete in another reality show, “Project Runway,” although it was strange how that show never had any pull on me whatsoever. Currently, I am working on my clothing line’s pqd.denim Fall/Winter 2010 collection, for which my goal is to play the line between mass market and indie. But in reality, to make it so, I am trying to peel away a more conceptual idea to reveal a piece that I know is sell-able. Deep down, my true self could be a fine artist. The last few months, I have been torn between passion and commerce– although I am going to make a bet if I can do both. It does make me sad that the modern world doesn’t seem to have any interest in art anymore, even though its the only thing that man makes that endures through time. But a true artist always gets an itch to create, to make an image into something tactile, their very beings fading like a flower if they do not. Many well-known and unknown artists spend their entire lives trying to soothe this itch– a way of living not many people attempt– but ultimately its only through creating do real artists figure out how to honor God and man. And its this Freudian journey of ‘who am I’ that whatever brings me the most happiness to be is who I’ve always been all along.